You have considered the financial challenges, the emotional challenges and the difficulty of the adoption process itself. You have addressed concerns regarding the physical health and the emotional health of your future child. You have gotten past the “reluctant spouse” (or are working on it) and feel comfortable with handling the reactions, both positive and negative, of your extended family members. You are educating yourself on attachment and bonding, and feel prepared to parent a child through adoption.

In the process of deciding to adopt transracially, this covers most of the main issues that are often roadblocks and can prevent people from moving forward with their adoption plans. But the big one still left to talk about is the issue of race.

The issues related to race in transracial adoption are way too big to tackle in one little post, or one series of posts. This entire blog is focused on transracial adoption and the issues surrounding it. They are complex and controversial issues, issues that many people are rightfully passionate about and topics that no matter who says what, there will always be someone else that disagrees strongly.

I am just going to give a summary of my thoughts, experience and knowledge, and then provide lots of reading material at the end.

As I have said in the past, choosing to adopt transracially is choosing to take on issues that would otherwise not affect you and your family (unless you are already a transracial family).

When you choose to adopt transracially you can KNOW that…

-Your family’s status as an “adoptive” one will be known to everyone that sees you (ok, with the exception of a few, like I experienced in this post)

-Whether it is frequently or infrequently, your family will get stared at, asked questions, commented on and just plain old noticed when you are out in public. People will say “dumb” things and people will say “rude” things. Many people will feel that they have the right to ask prying questions because your family is obviously different than “the norm”.

-You will experience racism and prejudice, as will your child(ren).

-There will be people of all races who think that adopting transracially is wrong and that the way you’ve chosen to build your family is therefore wrong.

-Your role as “the parent” of your child will be questioned at times.

I say this stuff not to scare you, but to prepare you. The first time I got a rude comment when I was out with our black baby, it really stunned me, even though I “knew” we would get one sooner or later. Now, there is not much anyone can say that knocks me off balance…I am ready for it!

These issues are big and can be intimidating, and it is best when adoptive parents realize that BEFORE their child comes home, instead of after.

And it is good to keep in mind too that most days, you will just feel like a family. You will deal with meals, homework, discipline, sleep and the many things that parents do in a day. You will reap the challenges and also the joys, rewards and unbelievable blessings of a being a parent.

In my next post I will briefly discuss fears related to raising a child of another race.