Large transracial adoptive families are often criticized and questioned as to their ability to truly provide for more than your average 1.7 kids. Many countries do not allow international adoptions to large families, and many states in the U.S. do not allow larger families to adopt from foster care. USCIS often gives larger families a difficult time with immigration approvals. I have heard that some think that large families are basically "small institutions." It can all be very frustrating to a mom of a large adoptive family.

Let me tell you that with most of the large families I know, the parents are just as good, if not better parents than the families I know with only one or two children. Parents who choose to have many children do so because they WANT the children and they enjoy parenting. Parents who choose to have many children through adoption are even more devoted because as we all know, the process is not easy and it is not cheap.

People ask endlessly, "how do you do it?" some genuinely curious, some almost implying that since they couldn't see themselves "doing it", that it must not really be possible.

"How do you afford it?" is another one. We have made different choices with money than many... I will not call them sacrifices, because we do not go without much (it's overwhelming even to think of how much we have), and having my children instead of a brand new car or fancy vacations is not a sacrifice to me.

It is very possible for children in large families to get the love, time, attention and resources that kids in smaller families receive.

In our family, my children have their own clothes, toys, books, beds, furniture and school supplies. They have their own seats at the table, their own bikes in the garage, their own toothbrushes in the bathroom and their own stockings to hang on Christmas Eve. They have oodles of food, piles of clothes and more "stuff" than they need...they want for nothing (except maybe a pony and a Hummer).

They all have chores and responsibilities. They all get to do the activities and sports of their choice and have the opportunities to develop their individual talents to the fullest.

They have a mom to help with their math homework, a dad to help with their pinewood derby cars and brothers and sisters for constant playmates, companionship and support.

I know their likes (favorite foods, colors, animals, etc.) and I know their dislikes. I pay attention and I care, and I make the effort to treat them as individuals, not just as a group.

They have regular medical care, dental care, services for special needs and trips to the eye doctor for those that need them.

They are taken to church every Sunday.

They have a mother that is home 24/7, devoting her life to raising them to the very best of her abilities. They have a dad who works hard to provide for his family and sets a fabulous example of what a father and husband should be.

They have brothers and sisters that teach them life lessons about sharing, compromising and thinking about the feelings of others. I think that my kids are more compassionate and thoughtful than many of their peers.

They get one on one time with their parents and personal attention to their needs, and get to enjoy lots of family time and activities as well.

They have a safe and permanent home, and the security that can only come with belonging to a family.

They have a mother, a father, brothers, sisters, friends and extended family members who love them. They have love. They have a place to belong.

And the best thing? They are happy. They enjoy our big family. They welcome each new addition with open arms and open hearts. When we hear about a child that needs a home, they ask if we can adopt him.

They are safe, well cared for, well provided for, cherished, loved and happy. What more is there? Heck yes...large adoptive families are worlds better for children than orphanages and institutions. Large transracial adoptive families may be different than "the norm" but they are no less good, and in my opinion are often even better than "the norm".

Resources for large adoptive families...

Older Child Adoption Blog (written by a mom to a family that makes mine look small).

Support for Large Families

Africa Adoption Blog- Written by a mom of another big adoptive family

LDS Adoption Blog- When Tana's family finished their next adoption, they will have one more child than our family. :)