As I was rereading some of my entries, I realized I missed a bunch of what I wanted to say in my entry on the “Blessings of Transracial Adoption," so here is a little bit more on the same topic.

I neglected to mention one of the biggest blessings, that has nothing to do with myself. One of the biggest blessings of transracial adoption happens for the good of the children in the family. All of my children have such wide-open, loving hearts. They know about other cultures and other races and while they “see” the differences, they do not see one as any better or “less good” than the other. What better blessing could you give your children than an example of unconditional love?

I have shared this before, but the perfect example is when my bio son Ryan, couldn’t understand why his substitute teacher couldn’t “see” that Des (our AA daughter) was his sister. When we gently reminded him that her skin was different color, which made it hard for people to tell that they were related, his response was that, “I know we have different skin color, but we still look like brother and sister.”


It works for the children that are biological in the family (if any) and the ones that are adopted. My three bio sons have much different views on race than they might if we did not have the family that we do. Our two AA daughters had been raised in a very “ghetto” neighborhood. They lived in an inner city African-American community where they had not interacted with any white people for as long as they could remember. They were not prejudiced by any means, but in the beginning there were a lot of stereotypes and surprises on their part on what “white people were really like.” As I look around my family and see my Asian daughter in her African-American sister’s lap, and my Irish looking son wrestling with his Ethiopian brother, I know that these kids are going to grow up being able to look past stereotypes and see people for who they really are, and not just the color of their skin.

And isn’t that the first step in ridding our society of prejudice? Creating a new generation of people who see nothing wrong with people of all races working together, being friends together, and even being in the same family together. I am almost 30 years old, and I did not know anyone who was adopted transracially when I was in school. I knew several families that had a mom and dad of different races, but I did not know a single family in which there was an adopted child of a different race than his or her parents (and this was in NY).

I look around now, in this small, rural town where I live and nearby areas where my friends live, and I am amazed at the difference. There are MANY children that have been transracially adopted. And it seems like everyone is either related to someone who “has a daughter from China,” or who has a friend that “has a baby from Guatemala” or a neighbor with AA children adopted domestically. Times are changing... maybe not fast enough, but they are definitely changing.

Every child that learns about the Vietnamese New Year in my daughter’s preschool class, and every teenager in our church that helped raise donations for the orphanages in Ethiopia, and every little girl in my AA daughter’s class at school that has come to understand that Des’s hair is different than theirs and it’s ok for it to be in the same style for a few days at a time, is taking a step in the direction towards a more tolerant and open society. Every child out there who has been adopted transracially, or whose brother, sister, cousin, friend, or neighbor has been adopted transracially is another life touched and influenced.


My hope is that all of my children will grow up to be a voice for racial equality. And what a blessing that would be!

Our family, before Ben joined us (new family photo coming soon!)