Somehow in all of our discussions about “rude questions” I forgot the worst comment I ever got. I mean, the absolute, without a doubt most ridiculously rude comment anyone has ever said around me.

When we had just adopted our seventh and eight children, two African American sisters who were 9 and 6 years old at the time, a woman (from our church no less), said that…are you ready for this????… She said, “It isn’t fair that you are adopting all of these needy children because you are making other people look bad.”

I was truly, truly speechless. (And those of you that know me well, know that speechless is definitely NOT a condition that I run into very often.)

I can’t even remember what I said in response. I am pretty sure I mumbled something like, “sorry you feel that way,” or something else equally lacking to respond to her comment (or accusation might be a better word).

As I thought about it, I kept thinking, “Gosh, this woman thinks my children should have remained orphans, so other peoples’ consciences can be clear.” How messed up is that???

This comment really drove home to me how gosh darn selfish so many people are. The woman that made the comment is very well off, and she implied that the “other people” I was “making look bad” were people more wealthy than Josh and I. I have never once told anyone, except for people who told me that they had an honest desire to do so, that they should adopt a child. I have never looked down on anyone rich or poor who decided to have only biological children or decided to have no children at all. It was really hard to swallow that there were people who were so caught up in themselves that they could somehow believe it was bad of us to adopt because it made them feel guilty or “look bad” because they hadn’t.

My dad’s words of wisdom were comforting. He said that he thought a lot of people DID feel guilty that they didn’t do more “good” with their lives, and that the choices Josh and I have made, make some other people uncomfortable. He said it is easier for people to believe that there is something wrong with us or that we were doing something wrong or doing something for the wrong reasons, than it was to challenge their own values, morals and lives.

I don’t know…I think one of the reasons it bothered (bothers) me so much is because Josh and I didn’t adopt our children to be heroes. We didn’t create our family to make ourselves “look good” or to make others “look bad”. To be honest, I don’t really care what “others” think about us. Our family is the way it is because Josh and I love children, and we believe with our hearts and souls that each one of our children were meant to be with us. And if that makes other people “look bad”, I guess I just don’t care.

Here is an awesome poem I read the other day on one of my friend’s blogs. I love this, and it really sums up how I feel tonight. J

Some would gather money along the path of life
Some would gather roses, to rest from worldly strife
But I would gather children from among the thorns of sin
I would seek a little curl and a big and toothless grin

For money cannot enter in the land of endless day
And roses that are gathered will wilt along the way
But, oh, the laughing children, as I cross the endless sea
And the gates swing wide in heaven
I can take them in with me.

Author Unknown