Our family size

The two questions that I get the most…ad nauseum even…are “how do you do it?” and “are you done?”

I never know how to respond to the first question…do WHAT? Maintain my girlish figure? (NOT).

Today I am going to talk about the second question, and this post has been brewing in my heart for awhile.

Are we done?

Let me first say that I really don’t like the question, as it is always asked in a way that makes it sound like we are doing something wrong. I completely admit and embrace that the life we have chosen and the family we have created are different than most and are “off the beaten path”, but I do not see them as wrong or “less good” in any way, just because they are not what most people would do.

But, at this point, I do feel that our family is “done”. It is a good feeling…it is a feeling of contentment. It is a feeling I have wanted to feel before, but haven’t.

In the past I have wanted to be “done”. I have thought about the paperwork and the money and the dreaded “telling everyone” and the waiting…and told myself that we did NOT want to go through with all that again. I have told myself that we had “enough”…that things were “full”…that we were done.

But I never did quite convince myself, even though I tried. I always felt that someone was missing…which sounds silly when you already have seven, eight or nine kids…but still, I knew someone was missing.

I don’t feel that way now. I feel very peaceful…like all of my kids are where they belong…that we are all together. I have felt that way since Belane ran out of that front door of the orphanage and into my arms.

I love adoption. I am passionate about adoption. I will forever be involved in adoption, and advocating for adoption. I want to educate others about adoption…international, domestic, transracial…But as I look around my family, I no longer feel the desire to be in the process of adopting…I just want to settle in and focus on my blessings and raising the amazing children I have been given. In the past the idea of being “done” made me a little sad, but now, it is a good feeling.

It is not just the after affects of the adoption stress talking…I am not overwhelmed or feeling we have taken on too much…it is not coming from the practical and logical side of my brain…it is coming from a happy place in my heart.

I know what you are saying…”Yeah right”. And I fully admit that I would not be the person that I am if I could honestly say, “there is no way on Earth that I could ever love and parent another child.” But, my honest, heart felt answer to the “Are you done?” question is “yes.”

I love children, I love being a mom and I have seen first hand how many, many, children are in need of loving families. They will always be on my mind and in my heart. But I never set out to save the world, or to hit a certain number of children. It was never that Josh and I were supposed to have 10 children, but it was that Josh and I were meant to have these 10 children. Now they are all where they are supposed to be and my heart and my mind are at peace.

So, that’s my answer…whether people believe it or not.

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