I have gotten several emails asking about adopting and parenting a child with HIV, so I thought I would make a post out of some of this…if this is not something that interests you, feel free to skip this post and the next, and there will be different topics coming asap. 
Anyway, please keep in mind that since my Belane is not home yet, I do not really have any first-hand experience to share and I am not an expert, but I have spoken with quite a few parents of HIV+ children and several doctors and specialists, and I am more than happy to share with you and everyone else what I have learned.
The number one thing that we heard over and over is that a child (in the US) with HIV is mostly just like any other kid. Parents could not stress enough that HIV did not define who their kids were or what their lives were about, and their day to day life did not center around HIV. All said that the worries that faced their HIV kids were the same that face all kids…what to play, what to wear to school, friends, soccer games, etc.
From a parent’s perspective…clothes, dishes, etc. can be washed with everyone else’s. It is perfectly safe for kids with HIV to share food, drinks, bathtubs, toys, beds, toilets, etc. with siblings, parents and family members.
The only big day to day difference in caring for kids with HIV is that they need to take their medication twice a day (if they are on medication…some kids go many years without needing it). I believe that most kids are on three medications that they take twice a day. It is important to take the medications on a regular and consistent schedule as to avoid drug resistency, which can occur if doses are skipped often, meds aren’t taken at regular times, etc. But beyond that, in day to day life, they are just kids.
The other big thing is that you have to be careful with blood. Parents should use rubber gloves and clean up any surfaces with blood spills with a mix of bleach and water. Any open wounds should be covered. Clothes (only those with blood on them) should be washed separately. Garbage with blood on it should be put in a bag, tied up, placed in a second bag and disposed of properly. HIV can only be spread if an infected person’s blood gets into another person’s blood stream which is difficult and unlikely, so while it is smart to take the precautions and be as careful as possible, the chances of HIV spreading between family members this way is extremely remote.
I believe that there have been two documented cases in which a family member contracted HIV from an HIV+ family member (in which sex and child birth were not involved) and in both cases, sharing razors was the suspected culprit.
I think it’s important to point out that the medications are so effective for most kids, that many kids with HIV achieve being “undetectable”, meaning that their HIV is so under control with the medications that it does not show up on blood tests. This is the goal for HIV+ kids in the US. When a child’s HIV is “undetectable”, it is extremely difficult for the HIV to be spread even without precautions, although it is still smart to always be on the safe side.
Kids with HIV do require more doctor visits than most kids. Most seem to have quarterly appointments with Pediatric Infectious Disease specialists who do blood tests and monitor CD4 counts, etc.
While kids with HIV used to be very prone to illness, the new medications work so well that most kids with HIV do not get sick any more often than any other child and are not prone to serious illnesses as they were in the past. As with any child with a compromised immune system I would avoid sick people whenever possible, do lots of handwashing and Purel, etc.
On the day to day, I’ve noticed that a lot of the advice for HIV kids is similar to the things that they tell pregnant women…avoid litter boxes, no under or uncooked meat, fish, eggs, etc., wash your fruits and vegetables well and other such precautions. People with HIV should also avoid turtles, lizards, etc. because they often carry salmonella. Some vaccinations may not be possible to give kids with HIV. The ones that take extra precaution are the “live” ones, such as the MMR and chicken pox.
A healthy and nutritious diet is important for kids with HIV. Keeping their weight up and their bodies healthy is essential and helps keep the immune system healthy. I believe most HIV kids take a multivitamin, and then you feed them as healthily as possible.
Kids with HIV can participate in sports and activities. Swimming is fine (and poses no risk to others) although if a child’s immune system was very compromised, swimming in lakes or public pools would be unadvisable. Sports with a high incurrence of bleeding, such as football and wrestling, would require some preparation for “just in case”.
To be continued…
*Please remember I am not a doctor, nurse or expert, and this is just my thoughts on what I have learned about parenting a child with HIV.
i know of a little boy in the russian far east who is hiv positive. while adopting another child, i fell in love with this little boy. when i inquired of his availablility, i was told he could not be adopted because of his diagnosis. can you not adopt an hiv child from russia? it seems so unfair!