My best friend Bethany was recently about this topic by another friend of ours. Bethany asked, “I know that you were asked this recently and thought it would be a great thing to talk about. Did you feel that it was taboo for you to be seen in Ethiopia as a Caucasian adopting an Ethiopian child. How did most of the Ethiopian people treat you?”

I have never heard that it was taboo to be seen in Ethiopia as a white woman with an Ethiopian child, and in the three weeks I have now spent in that country with our Ethiopian children, I certainly did not feel that way.

The Ethiopian people are very friendly, loving and kind people in general, and they love children. The culture very much values children, and that is obvious almost anywhere you go.

The people of Ethiopia live there…they know what the realities are. They know that orphaned children have very little chance at any future there. They know how very many orphans there are. Most of the people we spoke with were saddened about the situation in their country, and that there are so very many children without families and that there are little to no resources to care for them in Ethiopia. They seemed to understand that while it was sad that these children were being taken from Ethiopia, that it was a good thing that they were being loved and getting the opportunities to receive an education, medical care, etc. and not growing up alone as orphans.

When we were out and about in Addis with Ben or Belane, everyone, from the armed guards at the airport to the business men at the Hilton to the taxi drivers to the bellhops to people on the street would at least give a smile and say hello, but many would stop and ask the kids their names and touch their cheeks and say something kind to me.

I had many people thank me for adopting, which was awkward, and I would always say how grateful we were for our children.

I had one man stop me in the Hilton, and tell me that Belane was very lucky. He said, “She probably doesn’t understand this now, but she is very, very lucky.” I told him that we were very lucky to have her.

While we sat in the Ethiopian Airlines office (I wonder how many hours we spent in there total… I believe I changed our tickets at least six times…) we met lots of Ethiopians who were “well off” by Ethiopian standards. They were all very kind to me and very sweet to Belane. I had businessmen give Belane their cell phones to play with or their car keys… Could you ever imagine being in a US city and having a businessman give a baby he didn’t know his cell phone to play with?? I don’t think so.

I had quite a few people ask if her parents had died, and when I said yes, they always said something along the lines that it was very good she had a mom again. Ethiopians seem to value family and understand how important it is.

Out on the street most people would just smile or say hello…at the Hilton everyone was very used to seeing adoptive families and their children so it really wasn’t an issue there.

I can honestly say that the entire week we spent with Benjamin in Addis, that we did not have one negative experience, being a white couple in Ethiopia with an Ethiopian child.

During the two weeks I spent in Addis with Belane, I had one bad experience. I was walking up the road to the Embassy (you are not allowed to park anywhere near the Embassy). So my cab had dropped me off, and I was holding Belane and walking up the hill against traffic, and a taxi van that was full of people slowed down. The driver leaned out the window and yelled at me, “That is not your child! That is my country’s child!”

I wanted to tell him that she WAS his country’s child, and she WAS my child, all at the same time. I wanted to tell him that she had suffered a great deal and had been left in an orphanage. I wanted to tell him that if she stayed in Ethiopia, she could very well die of HIV/AIDS, and if she didn’t, what sort of life would she live as an orphan in a country that shuns people who are even suspected of having that dreaded disease? I wanted to ask him if he knew anyone in Ethiopia who would adopt a young child that was HIV+…knowing that her own extended family wasn’t even willing to do so.

But I didn’t say anything. Josh wasn’t with me, and I was alone in a strange city with a baby. I didn’t speak Amharic. I hate confrontation. So, I held my chin up and looked straight ahead and continued up the road…acting like I didn’t hear anything.

Whenever you talk about the “people” of any city or country, the best you can do is generalize. There will always be those angry individuals who want to give you a hard time.

However, only getting one negative reaction in three weeks is pretty good if you ask me. The one negative experience was definitely overshadowed by countless positive experiences. Our odds are not that good at Walmart.

So if you are going to be in Addis for your adoption, I would not worry about being “taboo” or worry about what the people around you will think. I believe that most of the people you encounter will be very friendly and supportive, and I really don’t know many other adoptive families who have had a negative encounter like the one I did. Enjoy the people of Ethiopia and don’t be afraid to talk with them and interact with them. It was one of the best things about our time in Addis.