Who Am I? The Importance of Racial and Cultural Identity by Michele St. Martin is another one of the articles I found while playing around on the internet last night.

This is another great article on transracial adoption. This article discusses the importance of teaching a transracially adopted child about their culture, to interact with other people of your child’s race and to embrace the fact that once a Caucasian family adopts transracially, they become a minority family.

The article highlights several adoptive families and discusses their strategies in handling culture in their transracial families.

Here is one of my favorite parts of the article…

Roberta Rosenberg of Maryland offers advice for those considering transracial adoption. "Be strong, be loving and be aware," she says. "Don't kid yourself that love is all you need and that race doesn't matter. Race in a racially diverse and divided culture such as ours always matters. As adoptive parents, it is up to us to embrace the reality that when we adopt children outside our race we, in effect, become minority families. We therefore have to accept that reality and see it for what it is and the opportunities/challenges race presents us –and more importantly, our non-white children. From well-meaning stereotypes to the cruelest jokes, this is the world our children will live in."

Rosenberg says that along with unconditional love and support, parents must give children the tools "to cope with a world that will judge them by criteria that have nothing to do with the content of their character (to paraphrase Martin Luther King). "Then, and only then, are we ready to parent the children we are privileged to raise and love."

The article quotes an adult adoptee from Korea as saying…

"I still felt different!" she says. "I had dreamed of going to Korea; I thought I'd fit in there. But I didn't. I wasn't Korean, I was Korean-American." It wasn't until she met other Korean-American adoptees of her own age that she felt a sense of belonging. "We were all raised to fit in and 'act white.' But we aren't white, and we'll never be white. I know that our parents had the best of intentions, but I am so glad that many parents today who adopt transracially see the importance of their child learning about the culture they came from! It is very hard growing up with no racial identity when you are a member of a minority group. I wish I had been brought up to be proud of my heritage. It makes life so much easier."

I know many transracially adoptive parents or perspective transracially adoptive parents who have been made very nervous or were even scared off after hearing the struggles that adult adoptees have had. As parents, it is difficult to read how these people suffered because of their parents, and to worry and wonder if your children could have those same struggles as adults.

Of course there are no guarantees, but adoptive parents today have the advantage of being taught what is important. We are told how important it is to teach our children about their culture. We are told how important it is that we, to the best of our abilities, help prepare our children for dealing with racism. We are told how important it is that we are not “color blind” but are instead, “color aware.” We know that we must love our children equally and embrace and see them as our own, and at the same time remember that they had a first family and a first culture that will always be a part of who they are.

So how do you do it?

To be continued...