In my last post, after discussing the importance of teaching a transracially adopted child about their culture, I asked, "So how do you do it?"

For us, we do most of the "text book answers"...we have story books, videos, outfits, toys, decorations and magazines from Vietnam, Korea, Ethiopia, etc. We talk about race and culture a lot, sometimes in serious conversations and sometimes casually.

Each of our kids know where they are from and where their brothers and sisters are from. We talk about and celebrate some of the cultural holidays. We talk a lot about African American history, and my 11 year-old daughter proudly made a book on Rosa Parks for her class last year. We enjoy a wide variety of music, movies, etc. Although we do not live a very racially diverse area, we travel for cultural events, gathering, performances, etc. Our kids know that their cultures are important to us and a part of our whole family. They know it is an important part of who they are and something we value and celebrate.

We talk about racism. We talk about birth families. We talk about adoption. We talk about being a family. We talk about culture. We try hard to show our kids through our words and actions that we value their birth families and their birth cultures.

I think a lot has to do with even just the adoptive parents’ attitude towards race and culture. In the past, the fact that children adopted transracially were in fact a different race than their parents, was often ignored. This led to a lot of conflicting emotions in the adoptees, as is shown above in the quote.

Instead, when adoptive parents teach their children about their culture and openly discuss culture, spend time with people from that culture, have items, foods, etc. of that culture in the home, etc., then those children can grow up knowing where they are from, and that it is something to be proud of.

I have read that it is common for transracially adoptive parents to feel “guilt” that they aren’t doing “all that they can” for their children regarding culture. Well, I do not think as parents we can ever do “ALL” that we possibly can.

We educate ourselves, we do the best that we can to help our children feel good about themselves, their adoption, their culture, their birth family, their appearance, their race, etc…. and we try to instill in them good values and morals, feed them a balanced and nutritious diet, teach them to share, keep them healthy, get them to read a lot and not watch too much TV, keep them physically active, get them to do their homework, give them enough freedom without giving them too much, help them memorize their times tables and State capitols, teach them the value of work, teach them how to be a good sport, and eight million other things…and still get them to bed on time.

So read the books and articles and learn why culture and race are important issues. Continue to educate yourself and evaluate how things are going in your family. But leave guilt out of it. All of us can do the best that we can, and that is all that we can do.

And with the knowledge and the resources that we have combined with the love that we have, I have to hope and think that our kids are going to do pretty dang well.