To advocate for adoption for children other than young, healthy infants, I have been writing about some of the benefits of adopting toddlers, older children and teenagers, and now I am going to share some of the benefits of adopting special needs children.

Many adoptive parents shy away from the idea of adopting a child labeled as "special needs". The one shared desire of expectant parents everywhere is that the baby will be healthy, so it seems to go against our hearts as parents to choose a child who is less than "perfect".

I am here to tell you though, that our special needs children are perfect! If you were to come hang out at my house and did not know any better, you would never be able to pick out which of my kids were "special needs" adoptiosn and which ones were not. They are all happy, smart, active, loving and wonderful.

With our first adoption we requested a young, healthy infant. As we were considering adopting a second child, I came across a photolisting of "waiting children" in Korea. I saw the face of our little Amanda Mee Yeon, and although I had never considered a special needs child, I knew she was ours. Yes, she has crooked legs, a crooked smile and a heart condition, but none of those things affect her in day to day life, and it breaks my heart to think that she was almost institutionalized and labeled "unadoptable".

I have written a ton about our decision to adopt HIV+ children. Belane takes medicine twice a day and goes to the doctor four times a year, but beyond that she is no different than our other kids. Her immune system works as well as anyone else's, she is super healthy, she is full of energy and our "challenges" with her have nothing to do with the virus she was born with and everything to do with her sassy princess personality! :)

Obviously some special needs kids are a lot more work than the average child. There was a time when my days were overloaded with medications, breathing treatments, chest therapy sessions, tube feedings, doctor appointments, surgeries and hospitalizations for our Marcus. It was challenging and overwhelming. But guess what? He was our "healthy newborn adoption". Josh always jokes that it was a good thing we took a break from adopting special needs kids and went and adopted "that healthy baby"!! :)

Reality is that there are countless children of all ages waiting to be adopted right now because they are labeled with some sort of special need. Some special needs are significant and life long. Some special needs are extremely minor. Some special needs are easily correctable in the U.S. I can't tell you how many adoptive parents I know who adopted a "special needs infant" with a heart condition, and then got that child home and found that there was nothing wrong at all.

One of the benefits to adopting a special needs child is that it often cuts the wait for a referral dramatically. Amanda, Belane and Solomon were all waiting for a family, so our referrals were instant. For parents who do want to adopt a baby or young toddler, being open to some special needs can significantly decrease your wait for a referral.

Another benefit is that the fees are often reduced for special needs children, and families adopting special needs children often qualify for more grants than they would otherwise.

Of course no parent should adopt a child that they are not 100% willing and able to parent, or 100% desirous to parent, and of course not all parents are going to be willing and able to parent a special needs child. I recommend that parents just starting out do some research on what special needs are common in waiting children and what parenting a child with those special needs would involve. With the huge range of "special needs" affecting huge numbers of waiting children in all sorts of adoption programs, it would be wonderful to see more adoptive parents willing to expand their vision of a "perfect child".

More info:
Adoption ABC's - Special Needs

Adoption ABC's - Waiting Children

*If you have not yet participated, make sure you visit this post and enter the fun giveaway for National Adoption Month thanks to Curls.

*Photo from Erin Henderson