As emotionally and financially hard as it is, it is a risk we knew we were taking when we left. And honestly, I don’t think I would change what we did. Belane needed us. She has several minor conditions that really needed attention and treatment before they became something major. She needed us…she needed her parents. And as awful as it is being away from my kids at home, they are safe and warm and fed and loved, in their home, with their family (minus me). Belane was alone… AHOPE is great and the nannies are great and very kind, but an orphanage just cannot even come close to a parent's love. We took the risk we did because she needed us the most.

And I have to say that I am surrounded by wonderful people here that I truly do consider to be friends. I have quite the list of people I can call if I need help…other adoptive families in town...dear Tesfaye, our new friend Selamneh, Denise, Nate, Gail…I am not all alone here and I really do have a wonderful support system.

And Belane is wonderful…after we put Josh in the cab I tried not to cry but I just couldn’t hold back the tears…he told me as he left to spoil Belane, enjoy the time alone with her, and that she was well worth the stresses. As I carried her back into the hotel trying to regain my composure, she patted my chest and rubbed my face. Gosh I love her.

She is definitely testing me out though…starting to act more like a normal toddler (and trying to figure out what her boundaries are with me). For example, today, for some strange toddler reason, she wanted to dump her bag of Chex mix all over the ground. Now since I know she would have been sad that she had no more Chex mix if she did that, and because I know that the Hilton staff would not appreciate a big pile of Chex goodness all over their floor, I told her no. Usually she just is ok and moves on, but she decided to really go for it. She tried to do it anyway, and when I took the bag and told her no again, she really started to cry. She even tried to walk away from me, but when I picked her up and gave her loves, she calmed down quickly and wrapped her arms around my neck.

She also got upset with me when I didn’t fall for the “I have to go potty for the third time in 10 minutes because I want to delay bedtime” trick, but she gave up and went to sleep really fast after that.

Poor baby has had her whole world turned upside down…I am still just amazed and how loving and sweet and accepting she is of all of it. I just can’t wait to get her home and see her with her siblings…I think me and this hotel room are going to get old pretty quickly!

We continue to hope and pray for good news about the waiver tomorrow. Thanks again to all of you who have left comments and are praying for us.

Tomorrow is a new day…hopefully things will turn around. Either way I will be doing what Josh said, and making the most of my time with Belane.

More soon!