Here are some of our personal experiences with sleep and our children that joined our family via adoption…

I think by sharing these stories you will see how some kids are just easier than others and how plans don't always go the way you think. I do have to say that we have been lucky to not have any major sleep challenges, however, before you call me lucky, you should have been around when our Ryan was a baby. IKES. :)

Maggie came home from Vietnam at age 3 ½ months. She had been sleeping in a crib with two other young babies. We got home from the airport, she was oogled at by her brothers and family members, we put her in her crib in her glowing pink bedroom (she was my first daughter after three boys!) and she smiled, and then she promptly fell asleep and took a three hour nap. She loved that crib…she loved it from day one, and took awesome naps and slept great at naptime from that first day on. Since I spent tons of time holding her, rocking her, loving her and bonding with her during the day, I did not have any worries about letting her sleep in her own bed since she was so obviously enjoying it. She has been a great sleeper ever since.

Amanda came home from Korea just before her second birthday. She has spent almost her entire life in the safe foster home, with an older foster mom and her grown daughters. She was used to sleeping with her foster mom (and the foster dad when he was still alive).

We assumed she would sleep in our bed for awhile, and then we would transition her to sleeping in her own bed in her own room. Amanda had other plans.

When she first came home she was petrified of Josh. She was really, really scared of him. She was so scared of him that that first night we tried to have her come to bed with us she was physically shaking, and she kept pointing her finger at him and shaking her head “no.” It was clear she was NOT comfortable and was NOT going to go to sleep that way, so I quickly came up with a Plan B, and I took her down to sleep with her in her room. She had a full size bed so there was plenty of room for me too, and she quickly fell asleep.

For naps and for bed time I would lay with her until she was sound asleep. At night time I slept with her for the first few months. Gradually I started sneaking out once she was asleep and letting her wake up alone in the morning (she slept soundly once she was asleep after the first few weeks). Once I felt she was ready for it, then I started laying with her just until she was good and sleepy and then saying good night. After that worked well for a few weeks, I tried just giving her a hug, kiss and a “good night” and leaving, and she went right off to sleep. Shortly thereafter her and Maggie decided they wanted to sleep together, and they have shared a room ever since. They are in bunk beds now, but regularly have to be separated back into their own beds. :)

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