Continued from previous posts...

Last but not least, my sweet Belane. As most of you know I spent two weeks in Ethiopia with Belane in a hotel room. We had one king-sized bed and she slept great in between Josh and I (although she whimpered in her sleep that whole first night).

She was a bit trickier to get to fall asleep for naps in the beginning…at first I tried all sorts of tricks, from carrying her in a hip carrier, to riding in the taxi, etc. However after a few days I just had to shut off the TV, darken the room and lay down with her. She fussed just a bit, and each day got easier once she realized there was no getting out of naptime.

Bedtime worked much the same way…I darkened the room and had everything quiet, and each night she fell asleep faster. She wanted her arm wrapped around my neck or to be on top of me, but I was able to move her over once she was asleep (and she stayed asleep fine).

Once we got home, we knew she was going to want to sleep with us, and that is what we have done. The first few nights she woke up quite a few times to make sure that I was still there, but she would sit up, look at me, touch my face, and then roll over and go back to sleep. I knew if she was in a different room I would be getting up a lot. She still wakes up once in a while to check for me, but it is a lot less frequent.

Even in Ethiopia, I would get up once she was sound asleep, and that is what I have done here. I have stayed with her until she was asleep for nap or bedtime, and then snuck out once she was sound asleep, which usually took 10-20 minutes for nap, and 20-60 minutes for bedtime. I got her to fall asleep in the bed next to me instead of on top of me, although she still likes to wrap an arm around my neck.

As I noticed her being less and less anxious about me always being very close by, I decided to keep working towards our long term goal of having her sleeping happily in her bed.

One way we did this was from the beginning we had her nap in her bed to help her get used to it, since she was sleeping at night in our bed. If you ask her where Belane’s bed is she knows, and she does like it a lot (and I think if I was willing to sleep down there at night that she would do fine with it… I just don’t want to do that at this point).

One day I told her to run and get into her bed for nap-time, and I went into the laundry room to quick move the loads of laundry around (it is indeed a constant process). When I finished I was surprised to find that she was sound asleep! After that, I have made it routine to tuck her in for naps and give her a few minutes of snuggles, and then go and do some laundry. She has always fallen asleep in the few minutes it takes me to get done.

She was waking up from her nap at first and crying to find that I was gone, and she was all alone. So I started telling her, “When you wake up, don’t cry. Just say, “Mom!” and I will be right there to get you.” Now every time we talk about naps she says, “Me, no crying. Me, “Mom!” Mom come.” (I love the caveman talk!!!) And she does it, and it works great.

Since she started falling asleep on her own for naps, I also started cutting her back to ten minutes of hugs, cuddles, etc at bed time, and then leaving. I tell her I will be back in a little while (although it is usually a few hours before I get to bed…that is Josh time). She has done just fine with that too, and it’s been nice for me not to be “stuck” lieing in bed by her for an hour some nights.

She has now been home for just over two months and I think she is doing great. Over the next few weeks I will gradually cut back the time I spend laying with her at night until she is going to sleep like everyone else. When she is sleeping all night without waking up anxiously checking for me, then I will know she is ready to sleep in her own bed, and we will make the transition. I am sort of hoping it isn’t too soon though, as I love crawling into bed at night with her snuggled up against me or Josh, and I cherish feeling that little arm wrapped around my neck.

Here are a few articles about sleep and adopted children.

Sleep Issues in Post-Institutionalized children

Adopted Children and Sleep

Helping Your Child to Sleep Through the Night

Sleep baby Sleep

The Center for Adoption Medicine- Sleep and Adoption (I really like this one!)