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Other things to keep in mind regarding adoption, kids and sleep…

-You can’t read the sleep books and take the advice from grandparents, etc. that isn’t especially for adopted children, because it is a much different situation than a biological child that has been with you since birth and is having sleep issues. Very newly adopted children are often very much like newborns in the fact that they can’t be spoiled…they need lots of love and attention to become securely bonded and attached.

-Some kids are just naturally better and easier sleepers.

-Many babies adopted internationally need feedings at night longer than other babies because of malnutrition, etc. If this is the case, keep feedings as short, quiet, dark, etc. as possible to everyone can get back to sleep quickly and easily.

-Nightmares and night terrors are common. If your child suffers from these there is not a whole lot you can do other than comfort them.

-Make sure your child isn’t napping too much during the day, or too little…as naps that are too long, or an overtired child both can make night-time sleeping more difficult.

-Have a plan before your child comes home, but be flexible! No two kids will handle things exactly the same and you just never know.

-Most people would recommend you NOT use the crying out method with a newly adopted child, as you are wanting to build trust and help your child learn that you are always going to be close by and that they can rely on you to meet their needs. A child that is scared or nervous or anxious is not one that should be left alone to cry. However, some people have found that after their child has been home for a while and attachment is going well, some short periods of crying have been necessary to get their child to go to sleep. This is another one of those areas where every child is different, and parents should listen to their instincts.

-If your child is sleeping in your bed or you are sleeping in your child’s room, make sure you are not letting your marriage and time with your spouse slip. Lay down with your child until they are asleep, and then have some quality time with your spouse (this works really well for us), or set aside some other time during the day for some one on one. It is super important to try not to let your child’s sleep struggles impact your marriage in a negative way.

-When all else fails, remember that tried and true saying (mantra) that is a favorite of many parents, “This too shall pass.”

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