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So what is a parent to do? A lot depends on your child’s age and your own unique family, beliefs, etc., but here are a few suggestions on getting everyone a good night’s sleep and some of our experiences.

I always tackle a new child and the sleep issue by having two goals… a long term goal and a short term goal. The long term goal being the child happily going off to bed at bedtime with hugs and cuddles, a kiss and a “good night” like the rest of our kids. The short term goal is for us to get as good of a night’s sleep as possible during the adjustment phase. The short term goal is sort of “survival mode”.

I have found that by keeping the long term goal in the back my mind, we can work towards that, even while we are in survival mode.

I have heard of families rocking babies for hours trying to get them to sleep, moms and dads pacing the floors with a baby on their shoulder, even parents strapping their toddlers into the car for a late-night drive to try and get their child to go to sleep. Desperate times call for desperate measures! (However, I strongly recommend not trying anything that you aren’t willing to make a regular routine/habit.)

Here are some things that work for many families-

-Having your child sleep in your bed. This works well and is a natural choice for some families, while others find that their child is too restless for anyone to get a good night’s sleep this way or it just doesn’t work for some other reason. Many parents and children enjoy the bonding that comes from sleeping together.

-Having your child sleep on a mattress or toddler bed at the end of your bed. This has your child close by and gives them the security of having you near, but gives parents a little more privacy and personal space than having the child in the bed.

-Having a parent (or both parents taking turns) sleeping in the child’s bed/room with them. The plus of this strategy is that it helps the child get used to their new bed and room without having them getting used to sleeping in yours. The downside is that Mom and/or Dad is not getting to sleep in their bed.

-Having your child sleep with a sibling or two. The success of this one depends greatly on the individual children…if they are easily awakened, if they will lie down and go to sleep (instead of playing) with someone else in their room, etc. I know that this works well for lots of families though.

-Have a rocking chair. A lot of babies and young toddlers really need a bit of “regression” and to be treated like a baby…rocked, sung to, etc. This is an excellent time for bonding and will help your child feel safe and secure. It also allows parents to sit down while trying to comfort their child…crabby babies/toddlers usually hate it when mom or dad sits down, but a rocking chair is typically the exception.

-Have a schedule. Kids crave routine, especially when they feel like their world is out of control. Have a predictable dinner, bath and bed time ritual that your child can get used to quickly. Keep things predictable and low-key before bed, with reading stories or some other quiet together time. We are always much more scheduled when we have a new child home than we are at any other time.

-Know as much as you can about how your child slept before being placed with you. Did he sleep with anyone else? What time did she go to bed? Did he have a bath first? Did she sleep in total darkness or with a light? Was it very quiet or was there continuous noise? Did he nap? For how long? Did she eat in the middle of the night? All of these things will help you know what your child is used to and how to make things as familiar as possible.

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