Continued...

Here are some more tips…

-Let the holidays be a distraction…The “wait” in adoption stinks, there are no two ways around it…let the holidays be a pleasant and fun distraction and break from "adoption stress". The time flies during the holidays, and that is a good thing when you are waiting.

-Let yourself have a good cry once and while, but don’t let yourself be “down”. Celebrate with the children you already have (if any), and if not, enjoy your spouse or friends or siblings or parents or whoever else you enjoy in your life.

-Look forward to next year’s holidays, which will be your child’s first with you!

-But, don’t wish the holidays away…they are a special time of year…enjoy! :)

-Look on the bright side…the holidays are often busy, busy, busy and overwhelming to kids, especially to newly adopted children. Having them home in the quiet that comes after the holidays will probably be easier on them (and you, as you won’t be stressing over getting everything done for the holidays and adjusting to life with a new child all at the same time).

-Consider your child’s feelings. I had never thought of it this way, but I was reading the blog of a volunteer in Ethiopia, and some of the older orphanage children were sad that they were going to America before Christmas, and weren’t getting “one more” Christmas in Ethiopia. Now I am sure that these children were nervous about all the changes in their lives, and I would guess that they will have wonderful Christmases with their new families, (and I am sure not all kids feel this way), but it is at least possible that your child is excited for Christmas in their country and are glad to get “one more”.


Of course most parents would have their children home with them for Christmas no matter what (me included) but I hope these help a little. I can say that I did really well waiting over Christmas last year for Ben…we knew from the beginning that he wouldn’t be home before the holidays, so that made it easier. Plus, we knew he was receiving very good care, was happy and healthy and that we would travel pretty quickly after the holidays.

On the other hand, when we were waiting for Maggie, I was a WRECK. I had gone to visit her right after Thanksgiving and she was living in sad conditions, and was very small for her age, got very little attention, had a very flat head, was not eating well, etc. Then the day after Christmas, we got a call that she had been hospitalized. It was a rough time, but when we got through it and she came home safe and sound just a few weeks later.

The other time we waited out the holidays was with Amanda. I found her on a photo listing on Dec. 23… I called and the agency actually had someone in the office and they said that they would mail us her file (including video) right away. The day after Christmas we had to leave for a drive to Las Vegas for my sister’s wedding. We got home a few days later, and all I could think about was getting the mail! We got home after midnight and after getting the kids in bed, Josh went to bed too. I snuch out and drove to the post office and got our mail, and sure enough found a package from the agency. I sat there by myself at two in the morning watching the video of Amanda, and knew she was ours. The next day I made Josh watch it, and the decision was made. Obviously I wasn’t upset that she wasn’t home yet or anything, but I was distracted during the holidays and extra emotional.

Belane's adoption was so stressful and emotional for me anyway that I know how hard it would have been on me if she wasn't home at this point, and I am grateful not to be in that situation.

To all of you out there without one (or more) of your children home this holiday season, I offer you my cyber hugs. :)


Most of all, my advice would be to remember that no matter what you celebrate, the holidays are a time for hope and love. Keep those in your heart and your child will feel closer to you. And hopefully it won’t be too long into the New Year when you will have your new child home in your arms.