As challenging as it can be to survive the holidays with a new child, it can be equally challenging to survive the holidays when you are still waiting for your child to come home.

The holidays are a time when more than ever, we crave to be with our families. The holidays and holiday celebrations often focus on children, and the joy and excitement they experience during the holiday season.

The holidays are also a very emotional time for most people.

When you consider all of those things, and then add in the challenges of being on the adoption roller coaster and longing for a child that you love as your own but who is not yet home with you, it is easy to see how the holidays can be a challenging time for waiting adoptive parents.

Here are some tips.

- Include your child, even though he isn't home yet. We added a picture of Solomon to our Christmas card. We hung up a stocking for him. Santa will put presents for him under the tree. He is not home with us for this Christmas, but he is in our hearts, and his stocking, picture and gifts serve as a reminder of his upcoming arrival, and the fact that next year he will be here to enjoy it all in person.

- If you can, send your child a gift or a letter. If this is not possible or is not allowed, see if you can send small gifts for all of the children in your child's orphanage or foster home. It will help you to feel that you have been able to share a small piece of Christmas with your child. If you can't send anything, try making something for your child, like a special blanket.

- Don't bottle up your feelings. With all of the emotions of the holidays, it often helps to let those feelings out, especially the sad, angry and anxious ones. I have found that writing in a journal, writing a letter to my child (to save for later) and talking with other adoptive parents are all great ways to let those emotions out.

- Remind yourself that your child will come home, and will be there with you for many holiday seasons to come.

- If you already have children, focus on them and enjoying this special time of year with them.

- Let the holidays distract you from the difficulty of waiting and the stresses of your adoption.

Surviving the holidays while you are waiting to bring home a new child can be emotionally challenging for adoptive parents. While it is important to recognize that, it is also important to allow yourself to enjoy the holiday season and to look forward to holidays to come with your new child.

*Picture from Liquid Library