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I will spend a lot of time on the floor with the little kids…so we can play and they can be in and out of my lap as they want. I will spend a lot of time holding Belane, rocking Belane…giving her the physical contact that helps so much with bonding. I bought a toddler hip carrier so I can “wear” her if she likes that. (She loves to be “up” is what everyone is telling us and what I noticed when I was there in February).

We are putting the finishing touches on her room downstairs, (which she will be sharing with big sister Des), but I plan on having her sleep with us in the beginning…either on a mat on the floor next to our bed or in our bed, depending on where she is more comfortable. I am typically not a big fan of “kids in Mom and Dad’s bed”, but night time is when a lot of newly adopted children, especially toddlers, find their fears and insecurities catching up with them, and they often need the added security of having Mom and Dad near by at night. Plus, sleeping together is also a great “bonding tool”.

As far as getting to know the siblings, we have found that the kids don’t usually need a whole lot of help in that department!

Amanda came off of the plane when she was escorted from Korea…she was hot, tired, bewildered…a bit in shock I think, and after staring quietly at her three wild brothers who were desperately trying to show off and make her laugh (still in the airport baggage claim area), she tentatively took the Winnie the Pooh balloon she had been given by her foster mother in Korea and she had been clutching ever since, and bopped her brother Nate in the head with it. Everyone laughed, including her, and she loved them and fit in with them from that moment on. (And that is now one of her favorite stories!)

All of the kids are very excited about Belane coming home, and we have spent some time (and will again before we leave) talking about how she will be feeling when she comes. I think it is a good thing for siblings to be prepared for their new brother or sister to be sad, scared, angry, cranky and maybe not a whole lot of fun right away. We talked about all she will be going through and why she might be feeling those ways. They know she might cry a lot, or just want Mom in the beginning, or be really difficult. Then again, it is also possible that she will want to run and play with them right off too.

We sent Belane a photo album that has labeled pictures of all her of siblings…both of them alone, and in groups of “brothers” and “sisters”. I know she loves her little book and likes to go through it and have people tell her all the kids’ names, so I am hoping all that will help the be somewhat familiar to her. She is used to being in an orphanage with about 30 kids, so I am not worried about the numbers overwhelming her. :)

I do expect to have to put some extra work into helping Belane and Marcus get to know each other. Marcus is just a few months younger than Belane (although she is quite a bit smaller) and he definitely acts his age. He loves Belane in theory (in pictures and videos) but it will be interesting to see what he thinks when she is “real”. Sending any two toddlers off on their own to play is making trouble pretty much inevitable, so I will play with the both of them together quite a bit…to help them figure out their relationship and to get to know and hopefully like each other. Giving them both lots of attention will be important so they both know that they are my babies!

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