In the last few posts I discussed whether or not the adoption process itself is “hard”, and gave some tips on how to make it easier.

Today I am going to discuss the emotional aspects of adoption that can make it “hard”, and can often intimidate people enough that never start on their adoption journey.

Adoption is emotional. It is the pure joy and excitement that is unique to being blessed with a new child. It is the sheer nerves, anticipation and even fear that is unique to being blessed with a new child. It is loss…all adoptions involve loss…a child losing his first family, a first family losing a child, a child losing their first culture and familiar life, sometimes their country of birth, etc. It is a true test of patience…doing paper after paper after paper, waiting and waiting on eight million different things, finally getting a referral and knowing you have a child that you can not yet hold and love and care for…it can be torturous! It is amazing and beautiful… the way new parents and new child come together to recreate the picture of family. It is wonder as parent and child get to know one another, and breathtaking as that sweetest of loves starts to grow and bloom.

Intimidating? Overwhelming? Confusing? Stressful? Exciting? Heart wrenching? Emotional? Joyous? Special? Scary? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes and yes.

Looking at the big picture of adoption, we can see that it is a very emotional process. There are also many single aspects of the adoption process that are difficult on their own.

Choosing to adopt is an emotional process for many people.

Considering transracial adoption and the issues being a transracial family will entail is emotional.

Worrying about how extended family and friends will react to the announcement that you are adopting is emotional.

Handling the wait, dealing with disappointments along the way, learning about bonding and attachment and wondering how your child will attach to you, meeting your child, watching your child grieve and go through huge life changes, and so many other aspects of adoption are very emotionally challenging at times.

Adoption is often described as a “roller coaster” of emotions, and it is for good reason. The highs are very high, and the lows can be very low.

In my next few posts I will discuss some of the more emotionally difficult aspects of adoption, and offer some tips on maintaining your sanity during the process.


For now, here is an awesome list of Adoption online support groups (list courtesy of Adopting.com) There are groups from parents in all stages of the adoption process (even those just considering adoption) and there are groups for people interested in adopting through all sorts of programs. Connecting with other parents considering adoption, or other parents in the process, and discussing your similar emotions can be a huge help and encouragement. Many people find that the people in their day to day life don't "get" the unique emotions and experiences that are involved in adoption, and find the support from other adoptive parents much needed.