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This post may end up being a series of posts, because there’s so much to say on the subject. You have been warned!
At least once a year, someone new to my online group for transracial adoption will ask, “Would you ever dress your kid in a shirt with a monkey on it?”
Prior to becoming a parent, I didn’t realize that monkeys have been used as a racist symbol for black people. I believe that an article in Adoptive Families magazine clued me in. The usage goes back hundreds of years. It seems that a lot of white people don’t know this, if the responses from the online group are any indication. About half the people generally say, “Huh?”, then 25% say “Oh come on, it’s just a monkey for crying out loud!”, 24% say “No, absolutely not”, and 1% post sociological articles about the practice and remind us that we can’t be colorblind.
For what it’s worth, I’m one of the 24%, and, if I had any kind of time, I’d raise the 1% to 2%.
I wouldn’t put Jack in a monkey costume. When the only hooded towels left at Costco were monkeys, I passed, even though they were a terrific bargain. I didn’t buy him a Gymboree monkey romper that was 50% off. I did, however, buy him pajamas with monkeys on them. They were red, and Jack looks good in red. And they were 50% off. I figured, we’re the only one who sees him in the pajamas, so, not a big deal.
I don’t know if that’s “right” but it’s what I thought.
Unfortunately, the black-people-are-monkeys issue still rears its ugly head. When Obama was running for President, one could find the Obama plush monkey and t-shirts with Curious George’s picture and Obama’s name on them. In February, the New York Post published a cartoon that featured two policemen shooting a chimpanzee with the caption, “They’ll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill.”
One of the links a friend of mine responded with (part of the 1%), is incredibly discouraging. Apparently, white people do associate black people with monkeys more often than they think.
We – parents of children who are black – should know about these issues. It seems ludicrous to say that dressing a black child up for Halloween as Curious George will perpetuate an ugly stereotype. But it will. It does. It’s sad, and I have no idea how to rise above that. How to make this issue go away. Clearly, black people are not monkeys, and yet, there are entire blogs devoted to the concept that they are.
It’s knowing this that makes me shake my head and wonder if we can ever really all get along.
I faced this question when I got some hand-me-downs. One was a Curious George shirt that was very cute and Enu adored it. I let her wear it at home and playing outside, but told her it was just a play shirt. The other was a cute bathing suit that was yellow with a banana on it. I couldn’t let her wear it. I was mad at myself for limiting my daughter based on other people’s faults.
Two things made me decide how I did. My kids had not yet experienced racism (this was early on in the adoption)and I wasn’t ready to have that talk just yet. Second, our kids are in the spotlight enough with being a transracial adoptee. I cannot control what other people do and say in most circumstances, but I can do my best not to put my kids in the position to be harmed (verbal or non-verbal) over a shirt.
When they are older, wiser and understand and they want to wear a monkey shirt…I’m fine with that.