In my last post, I wrote about parents in adoption. I wrote about both birth parents and adoptive parents, why adoption should primarily be about the children and not about the parents, and that I believe all children deserve to have parents.

In this post, I am going to write about the responsibilities that parents take on when they choose transracial adoption as a way to build their family.

For adoptive parents, the blessings of adoption are immense, and so are the responsibilities. On Father's Day my husband was talking about the blessings and the responsibilities of being an adoptive parent. He was thinking about all of the fathers of our children that were adopted, and how he hopes that the job he is doing as dad would make them happy and proud. I often think of my children's birth mothers and feel the same way.


Adoptive parents have a lot of responsibilities in adoption. Since I am an adoptive parent and that is what I know, that is what I am going to discuss, although birth parents have responsibilities as well.

Transracial adoptive parents have the responsibility to:

-Educate themselves on raising a child through transracial adoption. They have the responsibility to learn about and prepare for racism, bonding and attachment and being a transracial family. If you do not believe that racism is real, if you do not believe that culture is important and if you do not believe that being a transracial family can be complicated, then transracial adoption is not for you.

- Choose an adoption agency carefully. If no adoptive parents used the unethical agencies out there, they would be out of business. All adoptive parents have the responsibility to research adoption programs and agencies.

- Demand ethical adoptions. In an international adoption, adoptive parents should know that the child they are adopting is a true orphan. In a domestic adoption, adoptive parents should know that the birth mother was not coerced in any way and that she truly chose adoption for her child because that is what she wants and thinks is best.

- Honor commitments made regarding post placement reports and/or contact with birth parents.

- Be committed to your child's culture and race, and incorporating race and culture into your life.

- Teach your child to be proud of who he is and where he is from.

- Be "color aware" instead of "color blind".

- Be committed to helping the children left behind in one way or another.

- To embrace that child as your own, and yet remember that he has another family.

All parents have responsibilities, but transracial adoptive parents have additional responsibilities on top of the usual things parents should do.

Did I forget any? What would you add to the list?