My two oldest daughters are now 12 and 9. They came to us through a private, domestic adoption at the ages of nine and six. They are African-American, and I knew very little about "doing hair" at that point, because their placement happened very quickly and without much planning (Josh says we forgot to use our adoption "birth control").

I read books, visited websites and talked to other parents, and quickly got the basics down of washing, conditioning, braiding and twisting, and over time added to my collection of "doable hairstyles" and also got quite a bit faster at it.

Caring for my girls' hair at first was complicated by the fact that they both had had their hair relaxed so many times that it was breaking and falling apart (literally there were big chunks missing out of their hair) and one of the girls had the worst case of ringworm I have ever seen. The doctor said it was so bad that she had probably had it for years and years.

So my first goal with their hair was to get it healthy. I bought good products. I didn't over-wash or under-wash. I kept it moisturized. We kept it braided or in twists so we didn't have to do lots of brushing. We did not do any relaxers or "perms" and we did not do any extensions. Of course we treated the ring worm!

Their scalps and hair got very healthy over the past three years. As they have gotten older, they have started talking about getting their hair relaxed so they can style it, or getting extensions. We decided for back to school this year that they could both get the latch hook extensions put in.

They have been so excited about this, and were counting down the days until last Thursday, when they finally had their appointment at the salon. It was our first trip to a black hair salon, and I admit now that I was a bit nervous going in there. I wondered what they would think of this white gal bringing in these two black girls. I wondered what they would say about the condition of their hair (I SO wanted to hear that I had been doing a good job!) I wondered if the girls would be happy with the results and if it would be a positive experience.

To read about our experience, see my next post.

More posts on transracial adoption and hair care here.