I have been putting off writing about foster care adoption because it is a tough topic for me. On one hand, we hear over and over how many children are languishing in foster care, desperate for adoptive families and all the campaigns to get adoptive families for children in foster care, and then on the other hand, when you talk to families who have gone through the foster care system to adopt, they usually have some tough stories to tell.

We tried unsuccessfully to adopt from the foster care system several years ago. We were open to one child or a sibling group of two or three up to the age of 10 years, we were open to any race, and we were open to children with special needs. We were experienced adoptive parents. We sent copies of our homestudy to quite a few states and inquired about countless waiting children, and never hit anything but roadblocks. We ended up hearing about our girls who were being placed privately, and the rest is history.

It is difficult to sum up the process of adopting from the foster care system because each state makes its own rules, policies, procedures and regulations regarding the adoption of foster children. However, the children available range in age from infant to teenager. There are single children, siblings groups of two, three, four and more. There are children of all races. Most of the children have some sort of medical, emotional or physical special need.

It is important to remember that the children in foster care are available for adoption because they have even been taken away from their parents, or abandoned by their parents. For a judge to terminate a parent’s rights means that some fairly serious neglect, abuse or combination of the two is usually occurring. Often children have been with their birth parents and in foster placements and may have had multiple moves in their short lives. So, most of these kids have not had easy starts in life. Occasionally a newborn baby will be placed into foster care shortly after birth and then become available for adoption, but these cases are not the majority. Parents adopting from the foster care system (as should all adoptive parents) should be well educated and prepare for the issues that their children may face.

One of the benefits to foster care adoption is that the fees are extremely minimal, with the state almost always reimbursing adoptive parents for any expenses incurred, and sometimes the adoptive parents receiving a monthly subsidy check and a Medicaid card for the child until they reach age 18. These resources vary by state and the child being placed. Another benefit is that the children are already in the United States, and will not have to learn a new language or culture as children adopted internationally will. Also, parents and children also have multiple visits before the permanent placement to help ease the transition and adjustment.

In some cases parents (who are licensed to be foster parents) are able to “foster” the children they are considering for adoption to see if the placement is in everyone’s best interest, and other times a child or children is in foster care with a foster family and adoptive parents are chosen for them. Again, all of these things vary widely in how they are handled.

The bottom line is that there are many children desperately needing families in the United States foster care system. The need is great for adoptive families, and although the system can be difficult to deal with, the children are no less deserving of loving parents. While I know of families that have had difficult experiences trying to adopt from the foster system, there are many happy endings too. Check out these resources for more information on adopting children from foster care.

AdoptUSKids

Legal issues, including foster adopt laws by State here

National Adoption Information Clearinghouse has tons of great information on foster care adoption here.

Adoption.com’s page on Foster Adoption

Foster Care Adoption message boards on Adoption.com

Foster Adopt Blog on Adoption.com

Foster Care Blog on Adoption.com

Hoping to Adopt Blog on Adoption.com (family working to adopt children from their state foster care system)