In my last post I asked you, my readers, what questions you would like to see written about here on the transracial adoption blog. I have already gotten a good little list, but would love to see it added to, so if you have a transracial adoption question, please go leave me a comment.

The first question I am going to answer is one that is a common concern of transracial adoptive parents.

My son will be from Rwanda...so would you call him Rwandan-American, African-American, or just American?

Racial labels are a tough issue for several reasons. For one, the "appropriate terms" and what is socially acceptable tends to change frequently and can be tough to keep up with. The second challenge is that what is o.k. for one person can be offensive to another.

I think we can all agree as parents of transracially adopted children that we do not want to offend anyone, but that we especially do not want to offend people of the same race as our children. It would be really easy if I could just say, "the appropriate racial term is fill-in-the-blank", but alas, it is not that simple.

So is my daughter from Ethiopia "black"? Is she "Ethiopian-American?" Is she "African-American"? Is she "African"? Is she just "American"? (I could do this with most of my kids but am just doing one example).

My daughter is Ethiopian, she is African, she is an American and she is black. She is not "black" in color obviously, her skin is a gorgeous brown, but in regards to race, the world will see her as "black".

There are several aspects to these "labels". Some of them incorporate ethnicity, and some are just concerned with skin color. Most people don't think twice about labeling someone with blond hair and blue eyes as "white". We don't often refer to "white" people as "Irish- American", "German-American", "Swedish-American" or "European-American". White sums it up just fine when talking about race.

On the same line of thought, most people do not take issue with calling someone simply "Asian". That person could be Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese, Cambodian, Thai, etc., but "Asian" is often appropriate for all of them when defining "race".

With the term "African-American", there are many black people in the United States who are Jamaican, Dominican, Haitian, etc., and while their roots may trace back to Africa, they do not identify themselves ethnically as "African".

"African-American" is also a questionable term, because what term is appropriate if the family moves to Canada or England? Is the child then "African-Canadian" or "African-British"?

So in a lot of ways "black" would be the most appropriate term when talking about race.

On the flip side, the term "black" has been used in a negative way at different times in U.S. history, and for some, black still has negative connotations and can come off as offensive, especially when coming from someone that is white.

And adding yet another dimension to it, some adoptive parents consider their children "brown", as that is a more accurate description of their child's "color".


Of course this is one of those topics where there is no right or wrong, because so much of it is up to personal preference or opinion.

Let me say first, that whenever you are addressing someone, you should always respect what he or she wants to be called. Simply asking someone what they call themselves is safe, or, some people start off using the term "African-American" or "black", and seeing if the person takes offense or has a preference.

I try to keep things as simple as possible. When we talk about color, I call myself "white" because that is the term most people use. Clearly my skin is not "white" (although mine is awfully pale). But I don't call myself "pink" or "beige" because it just seems silly. It's the same with my kids. While their skin is "brown" and they know that, they also know that the term they are going to hear most often in regards to their race is "black".

I also use the term "African American" or the abbreviation AA. Sometimes I think that is the most "formal" and "politically correct" term to use. And when we talk about ethnicity (which is very, very important in our family), my kids are not simply white, Asian and black, but they are Irish, French, Polish, Vietnamese, Korean, Ethiopian and African.

So, I guess my answer to the original question is that clearly, your son will be ethnically Rwandan. Racially, he will be "black" or "African-American". When it comes to color, he will be brown. I told you it wasn't simple!

My advice to transracial adoptive parents is to teach your child about their ethnicity, whatever it may be. That is always going to be important. You should also get them familiar with the terms "black" and African-American (or Asian or Hispanic or whatever is accurate), as that is what they are likely to hear in school and out in the world, and of course, teach them to be proud of their beautiful skin, whatever color it may be.

I would love to hear how you have handled this within your transracial adoptive family, and if you are reading this and are black/African-American, I would love to hear what term you prefer.