Another one of the questions that was left on my blog last week was this one:

Any (very kind) witty remarks to keep up my sleeve for the busy bodies at the grocery store?

Becoming a transracial family is becoming a "highly visible" family. While in some areas and in some places and situations your family may blend in to some degree, chances are that no matter where you live, as a transracial adoptive family, your family is going to get some extra attention when you are out and about.

A lot of the attention my family gets is positive. A lot of people stop to tell us that our kids are beautiful or something like that. However we also get our fair share of questions (some just out of curiosity, some really prying, some down-right rude) and every once and awhile we get a really rude comment.

How I respond depends a lot on where I am, what my mood is and most importantly, who is listening. My advise for handling rude/prying questions and comments when your kids are around and old enough to understand is to always say what you want your kids to hear. Kids hear everything, even when you think they aren't listening (or they want you to think they aren't listening), and as much as I would like to shoot back a witty comment or a rude reply to some of the things people say to me, I most often bite my tongue because I know my kids are paying attention.

So when people ask, "Are any of them really brother and sister?", I say, "Yes, they are all really brothers and sisters."

When people ask, "Which ones are really yours?", I say, "They are all really mine."

When people say, "Gosh, you have your HANDS FULL," I say, "It's a good 'full'. My kids are wonderful."

I also have no problem telling someone that their question is too personal or that their comment is rude, and I hope by doing so, I am teaching my kids that they don't have to answer every question they are asked or accept rude comments.

As I wrote on my personal blog last week, I do occasionally enjoy messing around with people. When I am out and about with some portion of my kids and someone comments about how many kids I have, I love to say, "Oh, you should see the rest of them," or something like that.

I have never been gutsy enough to use some of the wittier comments I have heard, like the gal that told the cashier at the store that she had had an affair with the Chinese food delivery man when the cashier asked if her Asian daughter was adopted.

I try to keep my replies short and sweet, especially when there are lots of little ears around.

Anyone out there have some good, witty responses that you have used? Leave a comment and tell us.


Resources:

Transracial Adoptive Families Out in Public

Concerns about Community Reactions to Transracial Adoption

Being a Highly Visible Family

Even Angelina Gets Those Comments