In this post I asked readers to leave a comment with questions related to transracial adoption that they would like to see answered in future blog posts (please feel free to still go to that post and leave a question if you have one). I have already answered questions related to transracial adoption labels, hair care for black children and how to handle comments and questions from people out in public, and today I am going to answer this question:

I still don't understand why more folks seem to want to adopt girls than boys. I want to adopt both, but If I were to adopt a son sometime within the year, than a daughter from another place, the wait time will be longer.

It is a fact that in almost every adoption program (with possibly the only exception being China), girls are in higher demand than boys. There is almost always a longer wait for parents wanting to adopt a girl. Some agencies even consider healthy young boys as "special needs" because boys are often so much harder to place.

But why is it that way? I have heard quite a few theories. I have read that parents (consciously or subconsciously) think of boys as the ones that should pass on and carry on the family genes, the family name and the family characteristics, and therefore an adopted daughter would be more easily accepted than an adopted son.

I have read that it is because girls are traditionally seen as easier, quieter and calmer. (HA! I have five daughters and five sons and let me tell you people, my girls are NO quieter than their brothers. They are not one iota quieter.)

I have read that it is because women are usually the driving force behind the decision to adopt, and women often want daughters so they can have that special mother-daughter bond.

I have also read that it could be because adoptive parents often have more race-centered concerns about raising a transracially adopted son, than they do raising a transracially adopted daughter.

Honestly, I don't understand the overwhelming preference of adoptive parents for girls. I have heard (don't know how accurate it is or not) that of adoptive parents that have a gender preference, over 80% want a girl. That is a huge percentage, and one that is hard for me to wrap my head around.

I love my girls and I adore my girls and I am grateful for each and every one, but as I have said before, if I had to have 10 kids of all one gender, I would pick boys in a heartbeat, without having to give it a second thought. My boys are sweet and funny and fun (and there is no drama!)

I am lucky to be blessed with both my daughters and my sons, and I can't imagine one gender being more desirable than the other.

So to answer the question above, I don't really understand the preference for girls either, but it is definitely true that with just about any adoption program, you will wait longer for the referral of an infant girl than you will for an infant boy.

You can read more about all of this boy/girl stuff in the posts I have written titled "What's wrong with boys???" part one, part two and part three.