Comments on: Transracial Adoption- Trendy or Taboo?

By: knit2purl2

knit2purl2 — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 03:13:19 +0000

Our daughter was adopted from Colombia as an infant. She fought any and all things Colombian.
No way could I get on her a dress I brought back from Colombia when she was 3 (I went with a dear friend to bring home her baby daughter).
Never mind that the dress was made in Switzerland and didn’t look ethnic at all; she was not buying any of that, thank you very much!
She was an American, a part of our family and we wanted to be sure we were emphasizing that, not the differences. Celebrating unity rather than diversity worked best for us…because by celebrating unity we are embracing all our differences and celebrating together.

By: Chromesthesia

Chromesthesia — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 23:08:56 +0000

I don’t know how people can think adopting on any level or having kids in general is fashionable. Babies make horrible accessories, as they tend to unintentionally ruin any cool outfit you’re wearing with various fluids.
But seriously, harping on a trivial subject like race when so many children are suffering, so many lack homes makes no sense. They can’t see the forest for the trees! Imagine thinking an African American baby is better spending most of their lives from going from one foster home to the next than going with a family that will love them? How can that be MORE damaging? People’s logic makes no sense to me. They have no idea the sort of agony kids here and overseas go through. There’s no fashionable stylish baby boutique but poverty, loss and sad circumstances that won’t change until the whole world takes a shift and children become a higher priority…

Also, when I adopt from Vietnam (if I can ever get a job) Folks will probably bother me about it and compare me to Angelina Jolie, but what can I do?

By: logan05

logan05 — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 18:39:56 +0000

Kinda interesting topic, for me. I placed my half Filipino child with a white couple. I didnt do it because I wanted to ignore his roots or because I wanted to make them answer questions all of their life. I did it because they are awesome people and I think that they will take awesome care of him and his sister. Isnt that what adoption is suppose to be able what is best for the child and not about whether or not they match their parents?

By: miriam

miriam — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 08:56:06 +0000

Ohh, just one more thought- I think this trend to call it taboo is part of the “adoptee as exotic” thing. That’s the same thing that makes so many adoptives/ees act crazy in tv shows & movies. It’s really a criticism of the whole process, don’t you think?

By: miriam

miriam — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 08:52:18 +0000

When we started really getting down to the nitty gritty of adoption research (we are white), the question of race became one of the most interesting and nebulous aspects of our discussion.

For a while we thought we would prefer to adopt a child who would not always look adopted, and for whom I would not have to be on the defensive, and whose ethnic history I felt at least a little qualified to honor in any practical sense.

Over the past few weeks, however, I have realized that while the above is all important to prepare for, it is in fact purely incidental. We will not limit our search by race.
While we like to think we aren't total Polyannas, we do have hope that the difficulties will be overshadowed by... everything else that makes us a family.

I agree with Jamie Lee Curtis who says that questioning people's motives on this is "hateful". We like to read articles about the flaws of the rich & famous, and will buy magazines who promise us these criticisms.

By: R~

R~ — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 05:12:25 +0000

I am transracially adopted and was adopted at a time (1972) when it was not acceptable for a white family to adopt a black child, to twist it even further, I was the only black child in the city I was raised in up and through high school graduation.. My adoptive parents obtained a lawyer to be able to finalize the adoption at that time, it took three years. The social worker and the state felt that I would never “survive” in an entirely white community and school system, the harder they fought my parents, the harder my parents fought back… I was told at one point that I would have basically been thrown into the system/foster care etc. if it hadn’t been for the determination of my adoptives.. So… with that said.. I have many points of view about the subject some positive and some trials and tribulations I encountered a long the way.

I don’t think that for the average domestic bear that it’s the trendy thing to do, but for the celebrities out there I feel it’s more of a “LOOK AT ME” attention getter..

By: soblessed

soblessed — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 17:33:17 +0000

Yup, yup, totally agree guys! Great post, Erin

By: Sunbonnet Sue

Sunbonnet Sue — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 17:00:11 +0000

This might open a can of worms, but I'd wager it's better for kids to be adopted into a loving, capable family even if that family completely ignored the culture of origin. They'd still have medical care, food, clean water and a safe place to live.

My bio kids are one quarter Swedish, and yet I've never cooked them a single ethnic meal, spoken a word of Swedish to them, or done a single geography lesson on Sweden. The horrors!

Don’t get me wrong, it is truly admirable the lengths many parents go to in order to keep the child familiar with their origins. Especially for older child adoptions. However, it’s the daily love, care, food, warmth. *That’s* what causes a child to thrive. Not whether they “match” their parents physically, or what language they speak. Heck, I didn’t even match my own mother! (biological) She was one quarter Indian, with brown eyes, dark skin and black hair, carrying around a little blond haired, blue eyed one half Swedish baby.

Sometimes it makes a person wonder what planet some of these folks are from?

Okay, getting off my high horse now……..

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 16:19:09 +0000

oops..meant to say “there are many, many HAPPY, Well functioning, Well adjusted transracial families to prove it.”
Rebecca

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 16:16:58 +0000

Great post Erin!
I’d really like to know what all the people who think transracial adoption is morally wrong propose to do about all the children (abandoned, orphaned, abused …) who have no families. The only “solutions” I’ve heard from people from this school of thought are far-fetched, years down the road, requiring tons of funding, won’t happen in a million years lofty ideas.
What about the kids suffering now? Right this second they need a family–should a loving family turn their back on them because they don’t match their skin color/religion/race/etc.? Is it better for them to languish in the *hopes* that a same-race family decides to adopt them? What do we do if that never happens?
It just blows my mind.
I’m all for teaching kids about their birth culture, and I think it’s extremely important. This may require more work from a transracial family, but it’s certainly possible, and there are many, many transracial families to prove it.
Looking forward to seeing what others have to say