Comments on: Truths about race for adoptive parents http://transracial.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/truths-about-race-for-adoptive-parents Blog focused on issues related to transracial adoption, the adoption process, being a transracial/multi racial family and many resources for families adopting transracially. Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:45:49 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Chromesthesia http://transracial.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/truths-about-race-for-adoptive-parents/comment-page-1#comment-627 Chromesthesia Thu, 04 Oct 2007 01:30:41 +0000 http://transracial.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/10/02/truths-about-race-for-adoptive-parents#comment-627 I am not white, but before a person adopts a child of another race they need to let go of the notion of people from this race acting this way.<br /> Let go of the idea of atheletic black men, Asians with A+ report cards. Even folks in the Guatemala adoption forum using phrases like, "Latin temper" makes me brisel a bit.<br /> Folks are all different in their behavour and mannerisms. These things are not products of race, but products of individual temperment, culture and peer pressure.<br /> <br /> Also in other countries such as primarily Asian or African countries whites may find themselves on the otherside of the race coin. There are tons of obnoxious white American stereotypes. And lots of reversed racism. You can only judge people as individuals, but the larger society doesn't do that, and it's sad. I am not white, but before a person adopts a child of another race they need to let go of the notion of people from this race acting this way.
Let go of the idea of atheletic black men, Asians with A+ report cards. Even folks in the Guatemala adoption forum using phrases like, “Latin temper” makes me brisel a bit.
Folks are all different in their behavour and mannerisms. These things are not products of race, but products of individual temperment, culture and peer pressure.

Also in other countries such as primarily Asian or African countries whites may find themselves on the otherside of the race coin. There are tons of obnoxious white American stereotypes. And lots of reversed racism. You can only judge people as individuals, but the larger society doesn’t do that, and it’s sad.

]]> By: Deb Donatti http://transracial.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/truths-about-race-for-adoptive-parents/comment-page-1#comment-626 Deb Donatti Thu, 04 Oct 2007 00:56:38 +0000 http://transracial.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/10/02/truths-about-race-for-adoptive-parents#comment-626 Great post Erin!<br /> I totally agree. Parents who adopt a child of another race/culture need to educate themselves about how differently the world views others, in relation to how whiteness is viewed.<br /> We need to come out from under the cover of our white privilege.<br /> I would also go farther to say that parents also need to actively supporting change. That might not mean participating in a march (like the recent one in Jena, LA, although one could.) But it is in how we respond to subtle racism around us. <br /> Recently my father in law told me about a friend of his, whom he felt had been falsely accused of abuse. One of the first things he did was tell me that the accuser “is a black man” (without maliciousness, but racism is not always about intent) While I might not always want to educate, now it is my job as a parent to my son, so I responded, “I am sure that color did not play a factor in the possible crime. When I hear you say that, I also hear you saying that black men make false accusations, and that is an unfair generalization. When my son hears his grandfather say something like that, he will also be hearing, that you believe black men to be guilty of perpetrating falsehoods. How do you think he will feel about that, or then view himself, as a black male?”<br /> Needless to say grandpa stopped short. He meant well, but meaning well is not enough. At least I think that he had an ah-ha moment and will think more closely about other things he might say off hand and perhaps without good consideration. <br /> More importantly I am showing my son how to acknowledge subtle racist remarks, and handle them accordingly.<br /> Great post Erin!
I totally agree. Parents who adopt a child of another race/culture need to educate themselves about how differently the world views others, in relation to how whiteness is viewed.
We need to come out from under the cover of our white privilege.
I would also go farther to say that parents also need to actively supporting change. That might not mean participating in a march (like the recent one in Jena, LA, although one could.) But it is in how we respond to subtle racism around us.
Recently my father in law told me about a friend of his, whom he felt had been falsely accused of abuse. One of the first things he did was tell me that the accuser “is a black man” (without maliciousness, but racism is not always about intent) While I might not always want to educate, now it is my job as a parent to my son, so I responded, “I am sure that color did not play a factor in the possible crime. When I hear you say that, I also hear you saying that black men make false accusations, and that is an unfair generalization. When my son hears his grandfather say something like that, he will also be hearing, that you believe black men to be guilty of perpetrating falsehoods. How do you think he will feel about that, or then view himself, as a black male?”
Needless to say grandpa stopped short. He meant well, but meaning well is not enough. At least I think that he had an ah-ha moment and will think more closely about other things he might say off hand and perhaps without good consideration.
More importantly I am showing my son how to acknowledge subtle racist remarks, and handle them accordingly.

]]>