A few of my co-bloggers here on Adoption.com have had some recent posts on what Adoption is. How would you fill in the blank…Adoption_________________.

You can read Julie’s post on the Special Needs blog here and you can read Dr. G’s post on the Adoptive Parenting blog here.

One of the posts started because a friend of the blogger had been discouraged reading some of the other blogs, because of the level of negativity that is out there. If you’ve done any research on adoption at all, I am sure you know how easy it is to come across some very negative adoption-related websites. Sometimes it is written by adult adoptees, sometimes it is written by women who gave up a child for adoption, sometimes it is written by adoptive parents. But it is easy to find lots of negativity. Some people get very turned off by all the negative.

On the flip side, I personally have been accused of painting too “rosy” of a picture. I have been accused of sugar-coating things, and not sharing enough negative stuff.

So you sort of are in a can’t win situation…some people only want to read happy adoption stuff and don’t want to hear about the bad, and other people want to read about the hard adoption stuff and don’t want to hear about the happy.

Here is a comment I made on Dr. G’s post…

“Adoption, a beautiful way to build a family”. That is how I would fill in the blank.

I am another "look on the bright side" of things blogger. I do post about the challenges...those regarding being a transracial family...those being an adoptive family...those in regards to adjustment and the process, etc. however, since the bulk of my life and adoption-related experiences are wonderful, those are the glasses I see through.

I share my honest feelings and outlooks...for us, adoption has truly been a beautiful way to build a family. Not perfect...not without its challenges...but wonderful none the less.
I've been accused of not being completely honest because I don't complain enough or I don't "admit" we have more struggles, but the reality is that I don't have a lot to complain about and my kids are all happy, well-bonded and well-adjusted.
Everyone is going to see things a little differently depending on their unique situation, but hopefully we can all remember to see beyond our own experiences... Anyone who can only see the negative in adoption is missing a huge piece of the puzzle, and while it's nice to focus on the "rainbows and angels", it is important to remember that there is always another side to the coin.

I am a woman who has been incredibly blessed by adoption, so that is the biggest part of what adoption means to me. But I completely understand that if I had placed a child for adoption, that my emotions would be different…if we had suffered through a disruption, my emotions would be different…if we had a failed adoption…or a tremendously difficult process…or an extremely challenging child…or had been taken advantage of in some sort of adoption scam…my emotions would be different.

I do try to paint a realistic picture of our family life. I share the stupid comments we hear…the awkward situations we get into sometimes…the trouble I have handling people judging us…the challenges of incorporating our children’s birth cultures into our family…the nastiness of racism…and lots of other things because there ARE challenges that are inherent with being a transracial adoptive family.

And yet, the majority of my posts are still upbeat, optimistic, encouraging and “happy”, because that is how my life is. My children, my family and my life are wonderful, and they are that way partly because of adoption. That is my reality…that is “my adoption”.

I think it is good to read the good and the bad. I think it is good to know how other people feel, what other people experience and what other people’s realities are like. It is important to understand the joys and the pains of adoption…the blessings and the challenges.

But you, and only you, get to decide what adoption truly is for you. For me it is a miracle…a true miracle, a blessing, a best-possible solution for millions of children, a life-changing experience for all involved, a cause worth advocating for, a love-inspired choice…and, a beautiful way to build a family.