White children in African American adoptive families

Most of the time when we write about or talk about transracial adoption, we are talking about white adoptive parents with Asian, black, Hispanic, Indian, Native American or biracial children. The assumption that transracial adoption involves white parents and non-white children is a result of that fact that most transracial adoptions do involve white parents and non-white children, as most adoptive parents in the United States are in fact, white.

However, it is becoming increasingly more common (or maybe less uncommon) to see adoptive parents of different races adopting, and sometimes adoptive parents who are not white, adopting children who are white.

National Public Radio has a story broadcast titled “Black Family, White Child: Another View on Transracial Adoption”. Mark Riding is an African American dad in the Baltimore area, whose family is in the process of adopting a young, white girl. The girl has been in the family as a foster child for five years (and endured 12 different placements in two years before coming to the Riding’s home), however their adoption process has been very drug out and under a lot of scrutiny due to the fact that a black family is adopting a white child.

Riding talks about being at the playground in his diverse neighborhood, and seeing white families with black and Asian children being easily accepted as families, while his own family receives constant stares, questions, rude comments, etc.

While I know that white transracial adoptive parents certainly do still receive their fair share of stares, questions and rude comments, I can only imagine how multiplied they are for a black family with a white child.

As a supporter of transracial adoption, I believe in it because I believe that every child deserves to be a part of a loving family, and I believe that if a child needs a home and a family, and there is a family who wants that child, then skin color should never stand in the way. Since I do truly believe that, the color of the parents and the color of the children do not really matter to me.

When I hear this story, and imagine this poor little girl not only losing her birth family but then having to suffer through living in 12 different foster homes, and then I imagine her in a home where she can stay forever and is loved, safe, cherished and wanted, it frustrates me that skin color is complicating her adoption.

Riding talks about how his daughter is often one of the only white people around. She is the only white member of their family, and the church that the family attends is in the dad’s words, “99.9% black”. This is a similar situation to many transracial adoptive families.

When asked how he would deal with the racism that his daughter and his family would experience, Riding said that he would try to be thoughtful and try to protect his daughter. He said that he wanted to keep things in perspective and try to have his family be as happy as possible, which he believed would “defray” some of the racial tension they would feel and experience.

I really like what he said about keeping it in perspective. Surely his daughter, growing up a white child in an African American family, will have to deal with things and will have complications that she would not have if she was being raised in a white family. The same could be said for any transracially adopted child.

However, when you keep it in perspective, what was the alternative for this little girl? Being taken away from this family that has loved her and cared for her for five years? A future full of bouncing around in foster care? She has love, security, a home and a family. Looking at the big picture of her life, what could be more important than that?

That is what transracial adoption boils down to for me. When you look at the children involved, and you look at their possibilities in life, transracial adoption is often the best option (and sometimes the only option) for those kids to have a permanent home and to be able to grow up as part of a loving, forever family.

My sincere hope is that as transracial adoption by white parents becomes more culturally acceptable, that transracial adoption by any parents of any child in need of a home and a family will also become more acceptable.

Here is a previous post I wrote about another black family that adopted a white child:

Black parents adopting white children

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