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In my last two posts I have been discussing the fears many prospective adoptive parents have regarding transracial adoption and raising a child of another race, as well as some of the issues involved in being a transracial family. 
Now I am going to tell you why, despite it all, I support transracial adoption.
As I sat in a hotel room in Africa, with so many things fresh in my mind, I wrote this post explaining in detail why I feel so strongly about transracial adoption. I couldn’t explain it any better than how I did in that post. In fact, I go back and reread it myself every now and then, when someone challenges me about the ethics of transracial adoption.
In a nutshell…
-The reality is that the majority of the parents that are adopting children today are white, and the majority of children that are waiting to be adopted are not. If only same-race adoptions occurred, there would be countless more children doomed to be permanent orphans.
-Taking a child from the country and/or culture of birth should be a true last resort for that child. Adoptive parents should KNOW, before accepting a referral for a child, that transracial adoption is that child’s last resort and best chance in life. Unfortunately and tragically, right now, this very minute…there are millions of children at last resort, just waiting and waiting for someone to love them.
-I believe with all my heart that all children DESERVE and NEED love, security, a home, a family and a place to belong.
-Adoption is not a “perfect solution” or without complications, and in a perfect world there would be no need for it. But in the world we live in, there is a huge need, and I believe that raising a child with love, security, a home and a family…even in a transracial family… is the far better option than letting that child grow up without those things.
-Every child has the right to have parents that believe in their hearts that they are the best possible parents for their child. I do. Some of my children’s first parents died. Some of my children’s first parents were abusive and unwilling to care for them. Some were unable to care for them. In each situation, the child we were adopting was a true orphan. There were no same-race parents waiting to adopt them…in fact, in all but one of our adoptions there were NO other parents wanting to adopt them. We adopted our children, and we parent our children, with the knowledge and faith that we were their best option in this life.
Josh and I may not look like all of our children, but we have been able to provide them with love, safety, medical care, education, fun, security, compassion, understanding, devotion, home, a place to belong, countless opportunities…a family.
We have committed to being a transracial family, to do all we can to help our children feel connected to and proud of their birth cultures, to raise them to love people of all colors and treat them equally, and to be confident in who they are and where they are from. We strive to develop in them a sense of belonging to their birth culture, as well as their place and sense of belonging with us. We embrace the unique challenges, rewards and blessings that come along with being a transracial family.
Choosing to adopt transracially is not a decision to be made lightly, nor is it one that is right for every family. It is a decision that will permanently affect the life of your family and of your children. For those truly prepared, the changes can be wonderful.
Here are some resources from this blog…
I have written many posts on the issues surrounding being a transracial family, racial issues, and race and transracial adoption in the media. I have shared many of my own personal experiences parenting our large transracial family and I have shared and discussed lots of articles related to racial issues and transracial adoption.
You can also check out…
The Transracial Adoption Forum on Adoption.com
This series of articles on Transracial Adoption on Adoption.com
List of books on Transracial Adoption available at Adoption.com
Very Good!!! Well written.
Great series, Erin! I agree so strongly with everthing you said. And thanks for the lovely new photo of your beautiful family!
Thanks for your great remarks. I’m at the start of the adoption process.
An acupuncturist I know warned me to go beyond the “blonde and blue-eyed” baby, and consider adopting a child from a minority. This annoyed me the first time she said it and when she said it again, I corrected her. I told her that I had actually pictured an African-American child joining our home. She made no remarks after that.
Funny, it really steamed me.
Now I wonder how I’ll do when people say exactly what they’re thinking and my kid understands them! I lived in Brazil when I was a teenager and so our home-grown racism always catches me by surprise. I didn’t experience the black/white racism there.